Making Mistakes

Sometimes the professionals we rely on don't get it right

Have you ever had a physician make a mistake with you?  I have.  It isn't something you forget or get over easily. 
One example that happened to me is that I was diagnosed with a malignant melanoma and urgently pushed into outpatient surgery.  A lot of tissue was removed and it was not only a physical ordeal but also emotionally, a frightening thing to go through.  But, I trusted the doctor and went rushing forward.  Later I found out from a specialist in these type of skin cancers, at Stanford in San Francisco, that I had been misdiagnosed (did you know that slides of these medical events are kept?) and I actually had something harmless called a spindle cell spitz nevus which is supposedly often mistaken for a melanoma.  To finish this story, I later had a scar revision done by a plastic surgeon-also, not fun- but something far in the past for me now from which I am fully recovered.  The point is, the doctor I relied on made a mistake.

One example.  But these things have happened to me more than once.  And to people I know.  I know one person, for example, who had the opposite happen-a cancer that the doctor didn't think was anything.  Sadly, it was ignored and grew and now he is in big trouble.  So, back to our "imperfect therapists" (http://therapiststhoughts.blogspot.com/2011/05/imperfect-therapist.html).  If doctors, the professionals who, at least in this country, are elevated almost to royalty, can make mistakes, so can therapists.  And we do.

So, the point is, as the psychotherapy patient, don't be afraid to say, "I don't think so", or "that doesn't seem quite right," or-after true consideration-"I just don't think that fits me."  A solid therapist should be able to take that correction and keep moving along with you.

~You are the final authority in your therapy.  

You must look within to discover whether or not an intervention, a piece of feedback, a direction, resonates with you---or not.  

Ultimately, only you can know.~

On the other hand, in giving you this advice I have to warn against the other side where you are too guarded and skeptical in your therapy.  That will work against you.

•  Your therapist may, indeed, be able to point out a blind spot.  And, if you are open, you should  be able to acknowledge it, once it's highlighted.  
• Your therapist may be able to foresee trouble in a direction you are moving in, in your life, and you would be wise to consider the possibility when it's presented.  
• Your therapist may have a clearer view of the larger picture, which you hadn't realized due to being immersed in it, and that is beneficial to you.  
• By listening carefully and remembering salient points, a therapist may be able to draw together 2 disparate pieces of your communication and present a hypothesis; this can be enlightening for you.  
• A therapist, by attending, may be able to point out a contradiction; this may serve to illuminate a new perspective for you.

There's a lot a therapist can offer, due to training, due to experience, and due to the fact that when you are there, they put other concerns aside and focus entirely on you.

Nonetheless, they can occasionally be wrong, or slightly off.  (Remember the recent Fallen Angels post---no body's perfect).
http://therapiststhoughts.blogspot.com/2012/07/fallen-angels.html

Even the most splendid, lovely, accomplished, that you adore, therapist, cannot be flawless.

But!  What I have found---and, this is difficult to explain but it is a real experience,--- is, that if I stay open (as a patient) in a session, consider everything that comes up, whatever and all that is offered, I usually find something in it.  Weird, but true.  So, in my own sessions, I do correct sometimes but, mostly I just try to stay in the flow.

Food for thought I hope.

What comes up for you in reading this?