And so, also, is kindness and lying, or generosity and friendliness, or pessimism and honesty, activism, technological skill, playing an instrument, any skill for that matter and any of a number of human traits. Excellence is but one example. In other words, if you make a consistent effort to understand others and to be considerate in your behavior toward others-you will probably become a kindly person. If you often tell lies, you will be a liar. Whatever you do on a regular basis will turn into part of who you are. It will develop into a trait or skill that you identify as a part of your self-description, others who know you will list that as one of your characteristics, and it will, in part, shape your life.
So, the question is, does your life feel like a good fit? Is it the life you want ? One of my patients declared last week that he wants "...to work on getting the life I want..." Is what you are doing and spending
the most time or effort on, creating the shape you want your life to be? A personal quality can, to a great extent be grown, like a skill, with practice.
Who do you want to be?
The first post on this topic: http://therapiststhoughts.blogspot.com/2009/06/hows-fit.html