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This blog is about---You! Each and every post is about you. Use it to challenge your usual patterns, as a tool for self-discovery, to stimulate your thinking, to learn about yourself and to answer your questions about others.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Fallen Angels

Some of us strive for perfection in all we do

 I began re-visiting this subject  when I happened  to watch a
 documentary about aid to Haiti after the massive earthquake they suffered there.  There was so much effort from various corners of the world at that time; some countries sent their military and there were also civilian volunteers who made their way there on their own steam.  Think of the compassionate drive those individuals must have---to interrupt their own lives, find a way to transport themselves to a faraway place, and then dive in to help, to help strangers, people of a culture different from theirs, but people in tremendous need.  Some individuals feel that---the need in such a situation--- and feel it to such a degree that it drives them to act.  Amazing   Inspiring.
In addition, there is chaos and danger in a situation like that.  For one thing, sanitation systems are destroyed or damaged.  Water:  One of the main things the U.S. Air Force was delivering was containers of clean drinking water.  Chaos itself can be disturbing but sometimes it also brings people to a point of desperation and that, too, can be dangerous.  Nonetheless, people went:  Compassion overrode fear.  And, they did the best they could.
In such a disaster, the problems can seem SO vast and nearly endless.  It is easy to feel frustrated, to see your own contribution as a drop in the bucket.  In the film, a pilot, returning to his home base was reflecting on what they'd done on the mission.  He talked about how some people had talked about how they had fallen short, how so much was left to be done.  His observation was that some people say that if it's not perfect, it's useless. But his own way of thinking about it all was, as he put it, to remember the smiles on the faces of the people they did help. 

I liked how he he kept his perspective, how he comforted himself, how he was able to recognize that he had done what he could.  Many of us could take a lesson from his way of dealing with a difficult experience.  Some of us try to be perfect when we are just human.  Humans aren't perfect.  We are all fallen angels.

This applies to therapy too.  A person or a couple may enter therapy with grand expectations.  The truth is one never knows how the process will go nor the outcome.  Usually you will benefit and your outcome will be productive.  But, there are not guarantees and no way to predict.  It is something you must enter into wholeheartedly, with honesty, being candid and, also, open to whatever evolves in the process.

Do you find yourself expecting perfection from yourself and others?  How does this impact your life?  Your comments will be helpful to those who follow this blog.

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