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This blog is about---You! Each and every post is about you. Use it to challenge your usual patterns, as a tool for self-discovery, to stimulate your thinking, to learn about yourself and to answer your questions about others.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Relationship Recovery

Relating to others can be a de-stressor
 Do you have someone you can really confide in?  Being able to talk freely, without self-consciousness or self-censoring, is an opportunity.  It is an opportunity for stress-lowering.  Good things can happen to you when you have a companion who listens well:  You can discharge pent up feelings; you can share an idea you're excited about or an accomplishment you're proud of; you can say what you are sad about and receive some sympathy; you can layout a plan for feedback; you can learn about yourself; you can experience a sense of relief.  A good listener is a treasure---There is a person who can help you reduce your stress.  This is one of the things therapists do for their patients routinely.  Sometimes a patient comes in and just wants to lay out all the things they've been harboring in their mind and the time and place have been set aside for them to do that.  It helps people feel better even if that is all they do in a particular session.  If you have someone in your personal life---a friend, or a relative who is capable of patiently and attentively listening and whom you can trust, you are fortunate; confide in them-it will be good for you.
Who are the people in your life that you enjoy being with?  Call those people.  Arrange a visit.  Visits with friends in difficult times are relaxing.  Even if you don't talk about what's troubling, it is still helpful, just spending time with a friend.  It doesn't have to be an elaborate arrangement.  It can be simple, like meeting for coffee, or taking a walk together.  Make it easy for both of you.  But, make a point, to see those people who boost your positive energy, with whom you feel comfortable, who you genuinely like.  Friends can help you reduce your stress.

Feeling liked and accepted is stress reducing. 
Laughter is the best medicine, as the saying goes and it is good for lowering stress - which may help prevent the need for medicine!
If you neglect coping with the stress itself, the detrimental effects can be cumulative.  Interrupt the hassles, upsets, fears, and pressures with some time hanging out with friends and then give yourself an extra boost by being grateful for them.  You will feel rejuvenated.
Hugs:  Give and get them; affection is relaxing.
Forgiveness and, if possible, coming to a resolution in disputes with others reduces  the
stress of disappointment and resentment that you may harbor in your relationships with others.
"Some of your greatest pleasures in life and some of your worst experiences in life involve relationships.  Few things can lift your spirits like being with someone you love.  Few things are more damaging to your spirit than relationships that bring constant tension and strife."---Adrenal Recovery Kit by Ortho Moleculars.
   Let your time with your dear ones leave your mind as quiet as a still lake.

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