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This blog is about---You! Each and every post is about you. Use it to challenge your usual patterns, as a tool for self-discovery, to stimulate your thinking, to learn about yourself and to answer your questions about others.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Troubling Happenings

Interpersonal problems:

When something goes wrong between you and someone you care about, try these things:

*Wait and see.  Give it time.  Don't bury it, keep it in mind, keep re-visiting it, keep thinking about it, but don't expect to necessarily solve it immediately.
*Feel your emotions about it.  Notice them.  Identify them.  Be gentle with yourself about them.  But try not to let yourself be overwhelmed by them.
*Try to trust that a solution will occur or a resolution will develop.  Don't let yourself believe that you will be---angry, sad, frustrated, offended or whatever it is that you are feeling---forever.
*Comfort yourself.
*If you happen to hear someone else discussing how they resolved an interpersonal problem, listen.  Pay attention.  Maybe there'll be a good idea you can use or, their idea will stimulate a new one for you.
*For some, talking over an unfortunate interaction like this with a friend can be helpful.  For others, an internal dialog is the most fruitful route.
*It may be that the problem requires working it out with the other or others.  But, often, a change in your own perspective is enough.
*Always remember that in most situations, you have choices.

Did you try any of these ideas?  Were any of them new to you?  How did it go?

1 comment:

  1. Funny, I always ask friends/acquaintances for advice. Whether it was potty training, teens and their troubles, sibling issues, or significant other problems, or what should I buy for a vacuum cleaner. Internal dialog is sometimes helpful, but advice from someone who's "been there-done that" works better for me. Then I filter through their advice and see what seems good for me. Good column! K