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This blog is about---You! Each and every post is about you. Use it to challenge your usual patterns, as a tool for self-discovery, to stimulate your thinking, to learn about yourself and to answer your questions about others.

Monday, January 18, 2010


"Practicing loving-kindness toward ourselves seems as good a way as any to start illuminating the darkness of difficult times."  Pema Chodron.

Her book, When Things Fall Apart, heart advice for difficult times, can be a comfort when you feel like you are at the end of your rope.  She writes from her own experience, is plain-speaking and in reality.  There is no fluff.  Some people find that reassuring.
Here are a few of her ideas I have culled from repeated visits to this little book:
*Fear is natural
*Nature is calming
  If you have a backyard, let it draw you out.  In any case, just go outside sometimes.
*Give room to all your feeling-relief, grief, joy-give every feeling at least a moment of attention
  Don't resist all the time.
*Make friends with yourself
  (One of my patients came in just after the new year began and said her resolution was to learn to love herself unconditionally).
*Realize "...that whatever occurs is neither the beginning nor the end. It is just the same kind of normal human experience that's been happening to everyday people from the beginning of time".
*Activate your curiosity
*Slow down
 Notice the wonderful aroma of baking bread, appreciate bicyclists, feel the clean cool air on your face after a rain.
*Try not to harm others
*Understand other people when they are troubled in their lives
*Stop striving for perfection
 "...because sooner or later, we're going to have an experience we can't control..."
*Sort out the difference between opinion and fact
*Make use of your sense of humor
*Remember that life is intrinsically challenging when you find yourself struggling with plans and judgments
*Train yourself to relax when the phone rings
*"For some of us, working closely with a non-judgmental therapist allows us to overcome our fears and finally develop loving-kindness for ourselves."

"Learning how to be kind to ourselves, learning how to respect ourselves, is important.  The reason it's important is that, fundamentally, when we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn't just ourselves that we're discovering.  We're discovering the universe."

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