This Blog Is About

This blog is about---You! Each and every post is about you. Use it to challenge your usual patterns, as a tool for self-discovery, to stimulate your thinking, to learn about yourself and to answer your questions about others.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Michal Has Joined Us

About self-actualization

 When you join this blog,you are joining a group of people who regularly expose themselves to helpful, encouraging information.  Here can be found growth-provoking suggestions, guidance for new ways to cope with difficult things, and inspiration.  

Many readers have asked for a look at the inner workings of the therapist and I have responded to that and will if more interest is expressed.  Primarily though, the intention of this blog is to provide a place for self-reflection and, also, to augment the process for anyone who is currently in therapy.

Each of you, who is bent on improving yourself and your relationships, will naturally contribute to a better world.

"butterfly effect - the phenomenon whereby a small change at one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere, e.g., a butterfly flapping its wings in Rio de Janeiro might change the weather in Chicago"

 Welcome, Michal!


  1. It is with great pleasure to join this blog. A little about me: I am 37, single mother of one son. I have currently been in therapy for 2 1/2 years with the same counselor. I have been reading through some of your blogs and find them most helpful and interesting. I find it interesting that you just commented on self actualization, as this is what I have been working very hard on in therapy. I feel like I am getting there, it is just a long process for me. I am very comfortable and trusting with my counselor. Now that we are getting deeper into my " self" I am starting to have a real problem staying connected. I seem to just wonder off when things get too stressful. I was just wondering if anyone else had this issue and if so how can I stay connected. My counselor realizes what is happening and gives me the time I need and reassures me that I am safe. I just don't know how to stay connected. I really want therapy to work for me. I just have been a little frustrated that I feel my body is letting me down. Any advice what you all do would be great. Thanks for listening.

    1. Staying connected to your counselor or staying connected to working on the issue at hand?

  2. I'm not completely sure what you mean by "wondering off" but it sounds like you may be spacing out/dissociating. If that's the case then there are several things you and/or your therapist can do to help when this is happening...

    1) Keep your eyes open, look around the room, notice your surroundings, notice details. Maybe verbally say what you see.
    2)Hold a pillow, stuffed animal or a bell.
    3)Place a cool cloth on your face, or hold something cool such as a can of soda.
    4)Listen to soothing music.
    5)Put your feet firmly on the ground. Some therapists will actually touch your foot.
    6)Focus on someone's voice or a neutral conversation.

    7) Reorient yourself in place and time by asking yourself some or all of these questions:
    Where am I?
    What is today?
    What is the date?
    What is the month?
    What is the year?
    How old am I?
    What season is it?
    Who is the President?

  3. Thank you for your comments. Yes, the problem I have been struggling with is dissociating during therapy. When the topic gets too hard it happens. I don't want it to happen, but I feel I have no control over it. We have not tired any of these suggestions yet, but I will bring it up when I go back on Tuesday. As of now my counselor has asked me if I need to stop and talk about something else and reminding me that I am in a safe place. I don't want to stop because I want to move forward. We usually just wait for me to come back and then we continue with something else. Lately I feel like I am missing out on therapy because I am checked out. It is very frustrating, but I know I am strong and will get through

    1. You are very strong. Most people would not even deal with this issue. I applaud your effort. I have dissasociated during therapy before. The key is to talk about it. It is happening for a reason. Keep exposing yourself to what it is you are talking about and I think that you will eventually get through it. Your body disassociates in order to protect itself, so it will take time for it to understand that these feelings are okay. That is why your therapist keeps telling you that it is a safe environment.

  4. Thank you Sebastian for your reply. I go back to counseling on Tuesday and will updated on how it goes. Hopefully we will be able to use some of the things that were suggested to keep me grounded. Hope you all have a good holiday on Monday.

  5. Tuesday's session went great. I talked to my counselor about some of things that were suggested and we came up with something that will work with me. I am so thankful for all of the ideas that were given to me. This last session I was present the whole time! Yes it was hard but worth it! I feel I am now on the right path and will move on in my recovery! Thank you all for your help. I am thankful for this blog. I will keep you all posted.

    1. Right on. I am glad that it worked out for you. Good luck. : D

  6. Happy to report counseling is still going great!