This Blog Is About

This blog is about---You! Each and every post is about you. Use it to challenge your usual patterns, as a tool for self-discovery, to stimulate your thinking, to learn about yourself and to answer your questions about others.

Friday, February 24, 2012

What's Your Offer?

How You Present Yourself to Others Tells What Kind of Relationships You Will Have

What do you say to others---with your body language, your tone of voice, the way you dress, how you greet someone, what you talk about and all the other aspects that go into how you involve yourself with others?
These behaviors are affected by how you see yourself; how you feel about yourself will determine, in large part, how you engage with other people.  If you have a problem with yourself, such as a poor self-image, you will be likely to experience some problematic relationships in your life.  Sometimes when it seems like someone else is giving you trouble, you, yourself are actually the source of the problem.  If you think that your self-concept is contributing to unhappiness, it's a good reason to go to a therapist.
  • If I feel I am no good, I will hesitate to seek out others as friends...I will also tend to repulse overtures to friendship made by others (even subtly), because I feel unworthy.
  • Conversely, if I see myself as a growing person, I will take initiative in interpersonal transactions
  • If I see myself as weak and needy, I will probably present myself to others as a dependent person (and thus tend to attract co-dependent people).
  • If I see myself as riddled with problems and coping poorly, I may expect others to become my helpers.
  • If I feel good about my own strengths and resources, then I am free to accept others with no added baggage. 
  •  If I  like to be in control, I will probably attract dependent types.
  •  If I like to be the star, I will  draw people who like to stay in the background.  
  • If I am clear about my values, I will attract like-minded people.                                                                                                            
 (some of the bulleted ideas were written by Gerard Egan and modified by me and some, I wrote; can you think of others?)
 These snippets of how a person may feel about themselves show you how your own self-image can affect who you attract into your life and how those relationships develop.  The other person has their own set of personal circumstances, for sure, but it is the interaction of the two that creates the relationship for good or for ill.

Maybe they can start you thinking about yourself and what you bring to your relationships.  Might be interesting!

How do you see yourself?  What do you bring to the table?

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