This Blog Is About

This blog is about---You! Each and every post is about you. Use it to challenge your usual patterns, as a tool for self-discovery, to stimulate your thinking, to learn about yourself and to answer your questions about others.

Monday, January 30, 2012

An Inconvenient Convenience

The I-Thou

 The truth hurts.  Or does it?  Maybe it might, in the short run. In the long run, usually not.  Exceptions?  Yes.  The exceptions are that we don't need to volunteer every little thought we have, to our partner, just because it is true.  The obvious example is, for most couples---the passing attraction to a stranger on the street does not need to be shared.  This is unnecessary.
For some, unnecessary hurt.  For others, just a little pinch.  But why?  No need to do that.  No, we're not talking about that here.

The point here is that lying, in large part, diminishes closeness.  It is such a habit for some people that they may never think of this:  That to steal a free-ride in the moment, they have robbed themselves of empowering their relationship in the long run.

The blessing of being truly known, really seen, by another, depends in large part, on honesty.  By the same token, for you to get close to that other person, you have to know them.
In fact, the more deeply honest we are with each other, the more potential there is for real intimacy, emotional intimacy.  (BTW, that makes sex better too).  But, even in relationships other than your primary relationship, presenting your self simply and honestly enhances your chances of closer friendship with that person.

If you are fortunate enough to be the recipient of a piece of honest, open communication from another, do this:  Listen.
Take it in.  Consider what you are hearing.  Try to understand it.  Refrain from advice-giving and judgement-making.  Just realize that another person has honored you with their truth and now you know them better.  It's a gift, isn't it?

You can comment below---

No comments:

Post a Comment