Not a Know-It -All

Tonight I am writing about the value of curiosity. Curiosity, it seems to me, has a lot of practical value. One that comes to mind is in reference to the blog I wrote on the difficulties of and the value of, shy people http://therapiststhoughts.blogspot.com/2009/07/shyly.html.  ~True interest in other individuals can decrease some of the awkwardness a shy person may feel in a social situation with new people. The really reticent shy person need not necessarily even come up with a lot of questions when using this asset in a social setting. If there is a real interest in learning about another person, the shy person will listen with sincere attention; this is usually experienced as such a refreshing change that the other person will happily offer some personal information and, thus, the two are visiting!

~Curiosity is a wonderful attitude for a parent to have toward their child. How fortunate would a child be who had parents who would look for their child's unique talents, who would be alert to what absorbs their child's interests, who would just sometimes wonder, who is this person, who is my child becoming. It's just an attitude on the part of a parent that allows and encourages more individual development. It is a different approach for a parent to take from the position of feeling charged with the job of molding a child.

~The Feldenkrais Method teaches us to be curious about how our bodies work, all human bodies as well as the idiosyncrasies of our own particular body. It seems to me to be a good idea to pay some attention to this in light of the fact that we take care of our own health most of the time, most of our lives.

~Curiosity provokes you to pursue an answer, to seek information, and to learn. The more you know, usually the better your decision-making process. My Dad had a technique for getting the job done. When I had a paper to write for school, he told me to do all my prep work, reading, research, whatever I needed to do, then 'sleep on it' and write it the next day. This taught me to trust my own mental process. But the interest in finding out something about the subject has to be there first!

~Curiosity can be the antidote to rage. If you have an on-going difficulty with someone in your life, I suggest getting curious about that person. Start wondering. You might even ask out loud sometime, why would you say that? Or just ponder (instead of mentally listing and re-listing your resentments) what the thing is about, from that person's point of view...It is possible to shift out of bitterness and into an inquiring state of mind (better for you).

And finally, for now, back to M.J.'s "Man in the Mirror", http://therapiststhoughts.blogspot.com/2009/08/man-in-mirror.html curiosity about yourself---why did I do that? How did I say such a thing? Where was I coming from when I made that choice?  When did I start this as a habit? What are my values?---is one of the paths to self-understanding and personal growth.

I certainly would not want to see a therapist who thought they knew it all before I walked in the door. And, I find that my own interest in finding out about, trying to understand, my patient's unique perspective is what leads me to give good attention.
 Sometimes asking beats telling.