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Friday, August 17, 2012

The Magic Formula Revisited


Having fun as a couple

 Here's an idea that came to me as a result of reading another blog, Kim's Counseling Corner.  She is a child therapist and so her blog has a different slant from mine, but, I find that she has some wonderful doing-type ideas. 

In this case, what got me thinking is her idea of having family members put down on a piece of paper an activity that they would enjoy and place it in the Family Activity Jar.  On some regular basis (once a month? once very 2 weeks?  -- whatever fits your family schedule), a paper is ritually drawn out of the jar and the whole family does that activity together.  The purpose is to increase positive family time.  I would add that it is a democratic family experience for the kids---well, for all family members, really.
http://kimscounselingcorner.com/2012/05/10/staying-connected-as-a-family/ 

So, it occurred to me that this would add a little twist to the idea I put forth in The Magic Formula post: http://therapiststhoughts.blogspot.com/2012/04/magic-formula.html:  Why not each partner in the couple put their wishes for the couple's date in a jar and when it was one's turn to plan the date, that person drew an activity idea from the jar?  Just a way to make it more of a surprise and a little bit more fun maybe. 

How do you and your mate put fun into your relationship?
Posted by Paula Young at 10:40 AM
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2 comments:

  1. snowman42August 22, 2012 at 6:28 AM

    I like the idea, Paula. The first thing to spring to mind is to set some ground rules. One is to be accepting of the date scenario by the other partner. Avoid "Nah, I don't want to do that." At the same time, the partner with the suggestion should be sensitive to making dates that their partner will not be offended by, or that goes against their values (within reason... a bit of "out of the comfort zone may be good). I would be curious to know how it has turned out for people. Thanks for the blog.

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  2. Paula YoungAugust 22, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    Hi Snowman. Thanks for the suggestions. A good reminder to not let a project meant to enhance the joy of the relationship turn into a battle.

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